From an outside perspective, it can look like we are giving up after a loss by suicide. The tears keep falling, phone calls go unanswered, plans get cancelled. Are we giving up the fight? No. We are learning how to live again. In essence, we are starting over. Suicide changes everything you know to be true about the world. Recently, I spoke about what constitutes a traumatic loss, and how the grief process differs from that of a natural loss. I described a natural death as “having your boat rocked.” Grief challenges you to navigate your boat through rocky waters. In comparison, a traumatic loss like a suicide, completely tips over your boat. Not only are you trying to stay afloat in the middle of rocky waters, but you are trying to turn your boat over and get yourself back in. We are learning to swim, learning to persevere, and learning navigate through a storm we never thought we would face. While that experience can teach us a lot about ourselves and the world we live in, it also exhausts us, confuses us and scares the heck out of us. So give yourself a break. Be gentle on yourself, and remember you aren’t giving up, you are learning how to live in your new normal.