Spoiler alert: If you have not yet seen the film “A Star is Born,” this post reveals significant details about the plot line and conclusion. If you do not wish to read any spoilers, please stop reading now.
One reason why people may want Bradley Cooper and Lady Gaga together
With all the Hollywood award season chatter about “A Star is Born” and its characters, I decided to take the leap and watch the movie last night. I don’t regret doing so, but admittedly I do feel a little bummed today.
Unfamiliar with the story line until now, I recall seeing dozens of social media posts from friends around the time the film was released in fall 2018. Each person walked into the theater with hopeful anticipation and commented about how they walked out devastated and in tears. At one point, I was compelled to Google the ending in attempt to uncover why everyone was so overcome with emotion. I was a bit surprised to learn that after a whirlwind musical love story, the male lead, Jackson Maine (played by Bradley Cooper) takes his life by suicide when his wife Ally (Lady Gaga) least expects it.
I held off on watching the movie for many weeks because, like many survivors of suicide loss, I try to steer away from any known instances of suicide on the big and small screen. However, after the stars’ Oscar performance of “Shallow” took the internet by storm, I decided to take a big gulp and watch the film at home. You may have seen all the post Academy Awards buzz about how Bradley Cooper and Lady Gaga are clearly in love and destined to be together, despite their personal situations. Viewers were left speechless by their talent and chemistry on stage, speculating that an announcement about their future would soon follow.
As a survivor of suicide loss, I analyzed what I saw on film and during the Oscars and walked away with a different perspective.
I believe that one of the underlying reasons people want Bradley Cooper and Lady Gaga together in real life is because this “ending” would erase the hurt and despair caused by his character’s suicide.
Let me explain.
When Jackson Maine killed himself, it brought to closure a story we all hoped would work out. Jackson battled addiction, Ally supported him with unconditional love and we wanted them to succeed together in their musical careers. Many can probably relate to this in their own lives. There’s something about going to a movie and escaping life for a couple of hours for a world of fantasy. Some of us know the difficult battle of addiction and how ugly it can be in real life. I am one who hoped Jackson’s efforts would result in a positive and happy future.
Ally was left blindsided by Jackson’s suicide. While she approached his release from rehab with cautious optimism, I’m sure she worried deep down that the future would be a risk. This became clear when she immediately sent for someone to stop by their home after Jackson didn’t show up to her “last” concert.
The screen advances to an exterior shot of their home, which is now lit by the spiral of flashing red and blue rescue lights. From there, we cry with Ally as she revisits every step and word they shared before parting ways. Like many survivors, she blames herself and wonders what she could have done differently. We feel crushed as she braces for life as a widow. Her loss is traumatic, horrific and cancels the beautiful ending we all hoped they’d experience together. For tens of thousands of people every year, this happens in real life. And it’s awful.
Fast forward to the Academy Awards, where we see a healthy, glowing Bradley Cooper and Lady Gaga performing the movie’s hit song, “Shallow.” Bradley is performing as himself – free from any of Jackson’s addiction. Their passion and emotion oozes through the speakers. This particular song takes us back to a much happier time in the movie when the pair met and sucked viewers into their story and lives. The performance ends with Cooper and Gaga cheek-to-cheek. We feel the fireworks and everything is beautiful again. We are rooting for them to abandon their personal situations and continue this life together. They both get to go home and continue living their successful Hollywood lives. This performance comes when many people could still be in the “bargaining” or “denial” stage of grief about this film. We pull them out of that and things feel better or how they were “supposed” to be with Jackson and Ally.
Of course, I can’t speak for everyone. But, I can tell you that it makes complete sense why we want this. Losing someone to suicide is life-changing for those left behind. We spend the rest of our lives asking “why?” We proclaim we’d do ANYTHING to turn back time and reverse the death. We think that the loved one could have gotten through if we’d listened closer, tried harder or took away their tools. Unfortunately, this analysis always ends up with the same result: we don’t know why, we can’t go back and we most certainly can’t undo this thing that so deeply hurt us. We can’t bring our loved one back. We are stuck in grief (which we’ve argued here has no clean stages).
Not knowing Bradley Cooper or Lady Gaga in any true personal way, uniting them on stage innocently sweeps the cruel ending of the film away and makes us (me) feel better again, even if only for a day.
In my own life, I have spent the past 7.5 years embedded in this why/what could I have done? battle that never brings me the outcome I want. What I wouldn’t give for just one more day with my dad and to laugh and say, “Ha, just kidding. I’m so glad we got another chance.” I can only try to picture how our reunion would be.
Did you happen to notice this connection while watching?
The image in this post is borrowed from ABC television and their broadcast of the Academy Awards.
Loma Tisdale says
My daughter left in 2003 , from suicide. My son died of an accidental overdose in 2016. Not one day goes by without questioning ” why ” or ” what could I have done ” to fix this. I’m trying to fight liver cancer, some days with little fight left. I too saw A Star Is Born. I knew how it would end, after seeing the same movie with different actors in the 1970’s. Still left feeling so sad for days.
Karen Negrete says
I have not yet seen the movie as friends warned me that he hangs himself, which is how my husband died. It will be 2 years in May. I have some acceptance yet at the same time, it’s still raw. I was cleaning out his closet and came across a tie that had been draped over the closet rod. The sight of that got me on a deep, visceral level. I’d love to see the movie as most everyone raved about it, but I’m not ready. Having said that, I think that you’re right about the possible reason for the overwhelming sentiment for wanting Lady Gaga and Bradley Cooper to be together. To have a great love destroyed, leaving the survivor gutted and blindsided is a tough pill to swallow, plus given our current political climate, we collectively yearn for happy endings. Thank you for your post!