There are a number of emotions that consume us after losing a loved one to suicide. We talk about pain, sadness, and guilt, but anger often gets swept to the side. It took me a long time to feel angry. I spent a great deal of time feeling overwhelming sadness knowing that my dad's pain was so great that suicide felt like his only option. How can you be angry with someone in that kind of pain? So when the anger hit me, I was left asking, "Why ...
Reconciling with Anger after Loss to Suicide
Anger at and forgiveness of a loved one are among the most popular topics survivors of suicide raise on the blog. Today, we welcome guest blogger Brandy L., who discusses her ongoing battle with both following the loss of her mother.
In July of 1991, as a ten-year-old little girl, I walked into my house to find my mom dead from a self-inflicted gunshot wound. Her letter goodbye said not much more than “goodbye and good luck.”
In 2006, I ...
Letting Go of the Anger after Suicide
Letting go of the anger after suicide can be extremely difficult. Our anger can be directed at ourselves, asking, "How could I have prevented this" or at the person we lost questioning, "How could you have left me like this?" While it is important to feel anger, it can be toxic to hold on to it. Anger often lies on the surface, covering up emotions such as pain, hurt, and fear. If we don't let go of the anger, we can't heal the pain ...
How Family Members Grieve Differently
Three years prior to my Dad’s suicide, my Mom died suddenly in a car accident. I remember not being able to cry at the wake or funeral, and how so many people kept telling me “it’s okay Lindsay”, as if they thought I was trying not to cry. It’s not that I wasn’t upset, I was insanely upset-- My Mom died suddenly six months before my wedding. For some reason, I was so in shock I couldn’t cry. I cried on my own when trying to fall asleep (when I ...