I wrote this piece about 13 months after Tom died. It has been over four and a half years now since he passed. Although I no longer look for someone or something beyond his depression and anxiety on which to blame Tom's death, I still cringe when I hear people talk about suicide in stigmatizing ways. This piece reflects on how I finally framed and processed his death by ...
I Want to Believe
I was raised in the Unitarian Universalist Church which played a huge role in shaping me. In my formative years, I had the opportunity to explore many different religions and cultures and was encouraged to make my own decisions about my faith. I attribute my openness to and unconditional acceptance of a broad range of people and beliefs to the upbringing I received in this very inclusive church. I am grateful for the role the church played in who ...
New Years After Losing a Loved One
New Years after losing a loved one to suicide can be difficult for survivors. New Years is supposed to be a time of happiness and hope. Year after year I listen to people as they talk about what they plan to do to make this year better than the last. The gym is filled with new faces, as people pour in, promising to live a healthier lifestyle. New goals are set, projects are planned, and promises are made. When I think about it, New Years ...
What is Complicated Grief?
A couple weeks ago, I wrote about the differences between depression and grief. While depression and grief can look similar, they are not the same. I wanted to share a recent interview I gave on The Gift of Second site where I talk about complicated grief. After losing a loved one to suicide, many experience symptoms that look similar to depression as you search to find your place in a world that no longer looks familiar. For most, the ...
Depression vs. Grief
After the fog lifts and the finality of your loved one's death sets in, many struggle with the belief that they have become depressed. We live in a society that expects someone to "get over it" quicker than we are capable. I see many survivors of a suicide loss criticize themselves for not moving forward in the allotted time that those around them expect, leading them to question whether they have become depressed. Even clinicians who are not ...
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