suicide in the news

It’s been tough to escape the news of the unfortunate crash of Germanwings flight 9525 in the French Alps, which appears to have been caused by the co-pilot’s suicide. In addition to ending his own life, he killed 149 passengers onboard. As they commonly do, the media have spent days covering the ins and outs of the tragedy, including analysis of the mental state of a depressed or suicidal person. While I would prefer to change the channel, my husband is a news fanatic and has been glued to the coverage. My feathers ruffle easily at all of the ignorant comments about suicide that come from reporters, commentators and the general public so I usually prefer to keep away. Coping with highly-publicized suicides can be difficult. On one hand, I feel for those who are […]

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how family members grieve differently

My father would have celebrated his 66th birthday this past January.  As we have every year since the day he left this world, my sister and I post a message on his FaceBook page as a tribute to the man we called “Dad” for so many years.  Many people “liked” this message, and commented about how they miss his audacious self.  Among those comments lied one in particular that initially angered me.  Yet, as I thought about it throughout the day I felt as if there was value to this comment.  Here I am, almost three months after the post thinking about it.  Here is what the comment said: “I know he has to be smiling down now realizing what beautiful daughters he has but a little sad realizing how blessed he was.” It still […]

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anxiety after loss

I was born an anxious person. Before most things have a chance to happen, I worry about the “what ifs.” I fret over things that could happen later today and 10 years from now. This is a trait that’s engrained in me and I really don’t know any other way. I like to feel prepared with lists and solutions for all of the possible outcomes I could experience in life. (Which sounds a lot like my dad.) Whether this was all due to nature, nurture or a mix of both, I’m not quite sure. But, my dad’s death by suicide has only exacerbated this anxiety. Prior to his suicide, I never really worried about death and loss. My worries were more innocent… “Will that oncoming car really stop at the light before I proceed with […]

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nov2

Thankful, is rarely a word to describe your feelings after losing a loved one to suicide.  While I am not thankful that my father died, I am thankful for the lessons I have learned during my grief journey.  So for today’s Motivational Monday, I encourage you all to find something to be thankful for.  I promise you there IS ALWAYS something to be thankful for.

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daffodil

This week we welcome Catherine Gorey, a survivor who lost her mother to suicide 6 years ago today.  We honor Catherine’s mother, Breda, by sharing her story.  Catherine’s journey to find solitude after experiencing a personal loss to suicide provides hope and inspiration to those who still struggle to find their own solitude.  Thank you Catherine for sharing your journey with us. Catherine’s Story: I love the melody and the lyrics to the Skylar Grey song “Coming Home.” It has a mantra type melody that allows me to find my center when I am off kilter. I’m coming home I’m coming home Tell the World I’m coming home Let the rain wash away all the pain of yesterday I know my kingdom awaits and they’ve forgiven my mistakes I’m coming home, I’m coming home Tell […]

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I do not need to tell you how difficult life after suicide is.  We are pulled in many directions as we try and make sense of what just happened.  Our brain is put in overdrive as we try and conceptualize how this could have happened to us.  We often talk about the anger and sorrow we feel in the aftermath of traumatic loss.  Guilt and shame play a leading role in our grief story often impacting our ability to not only forgive our loved one, but to forgive ourselves.  Sounds familiar, right?  But what about abandonment?  Abandonment is not often talked about, yet it plays a leading role in our story.  Not attaching feelings of abandonment to our own self worth can make life after suicide difficult. In the aftermath of my father’s death I […]

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