missing your loved one after death

Grief following suicide sucks doesn’t it?  I mean nobody really wants to lose anyone they love, rather it is by natural causes or some tragic manner like suicide.  But it happens.  Death is a part of life.  After I lost my father, I was taken on a journey that I never saw coming.  I am a planner; someone who likes predictability.  Natural death, while extremely sad, is predictable.  When I lost my grandmother, a woman who I spent my life admiring, I felt an overwhelming sense of sadness.  I did not want to say, “goodbye” to this woman who meant so much to me.  Yet I did.  I let her go, I mourned her loss, and I moved on.  So, why was this much harder after the loss of my father?  I attribute much of […]

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youth suicides

Happy Monday!  We wanted to remind everyone of the power of faith after loss.  While faith is not something we can see, feel or touch, it is something that can completely the change the course that you are on.  Faith can help us stand again.  Faith can get us through the day.  Faith can give us hope that tomorrow will be even better than today.  We hope you all find a little faith this week.

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Digging for Details Around a Loved One's Suicide

When facing the loss of a loved one to suicide, I’ve observed two camps of survivors – those who want to try and understand every detail surrounding the final act, and those who never want to know those details. I happen to fall into the former category. In the hours following my dad’s death, I became desperate for answers. He never clued us in that anything was wrong or that suicide was something he’d ever entertained. What I knew right away were the basic facts – he shot himself in a local park at some point after work. This was all my mom and brother cared to know. But, for some reason, that wasn’t enough for me. As terrible as the details would be, I needed to know all of them because, maybe then, this […]

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Sunset_960x350_scaled_cropp

Mondays can be a difficult time for anyone.  We are often thrown back into the “real world” – a place that is often exhausting and overwhelming.  To help overcome the “Mondays” we have decided to start Motivational Monday!  We hope that the quotes and images posted will help you prepare for the week that lies ahead.

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questions

In the past, I wrote this blog post about the Stages of Grief and how guilt impacted our ability to move through each stage successfully.  Recent conversation with a family member after the loss of Blackhawk’s assistant equipment manager, Clint Reif, motivated me to revisit the topic of guilt after suicide as many questioned, “How did his family not know?” If you are a survivor, you have likely become very familiar with guilt after suicide.  It plays a strong role in our grief process and can often hinder our ability to move forward.  Guilt keeps us in the past as we consistently question our actions and the actions of the person we lost.  It is amazing to me how my own guilt after my dad’s suicide altered my memories.  Small things that I often would not remember […]

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Clare 2

After losing a loved one to suicide, survivors often embark on a journey that one never imagined.  What often makes the grief journey so difficult is the unexpectedness of it all.  The death of our loved one often catches of guard.  In an instant our somewhat predictable life becomes one that is often unrecognizable.  Although our blog is devoted to loss by suicide, we wanted to share a blog post by, Clare Saumell, a woman who unexpectedly lost her husband in a tragic car accident.  While her loss was not by suicide, it was tragic, and unexpected.  We wanted to take the time to share her grief story, as we found many parallels between her loss and our own.  Her story discuss her grief after the unexpected loss of her husband. Click here to read her […]

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how family members grieve differently

It is amazing to me how much grief changes you.  After losing my dad to suicide, I never really thought about how future deaths would impact me.  My father’s suicide instilled this unequivocal fear that others would die tragically.  How could I not have that fear?  It happened once before, maybe it will happen again.  Much time and energy has been directed to this fear yet little has been directed to how I would cope if tragedy struck again.  So when tragedy did strike again, I was caught completely off guard. About a month ago, I experienced the loss of an unborn child.  I know people who have experienced this type of loss before, but never truly understood it until I experienced it myself.  It wasn’t easy to let go of the life I already planned for […]

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