To date, the search words that bring the most visitors to our blog are centered around the Stages of Grief specifically those following a suicide. Every time I see those search terms, I cringe a little. For a couple reasons. One, it saddens me that there are so many people searching for the answer to when their pain will end. Two, because as a society we have given people this notion that grief not only HAS stages, but it has a specified end. As a counselor myself, one would think that these stages would be somewhat of a “Grief Bible” to me. At one point I guess I thought that we all grieve in a similar manner, reaching various “stages” when we are ready. Then my Dad died by suicide, and that belief quickly diminished. Here […]
A few months ago I wrote the following post, What I Learned from my Father’s Suicide, where I talked about how my life has changed after the loss of my father to suicide. It is difficult to ever think that such a tragedy can have a positive influence on your life. But it did. For this week’s motivation we want to remind you that there can be happiness and joy in the aftermath of tragedy. It just might take a little time to see it. I promise you all there is life after suicide.
While we have the perspective of losing a parent to suicide, the thought of experiencing the loss of a child in this way seems unthinkable. It saddens us to know that so many of you know this pain. This week, we warmly welcome a guest post from Michelle H., who lost her son Marcus to suicide last summer. Thank you, Michelle, for sharing him and your story with us. Losing a Child to Suicide My husband and I formed our family through adoption. Our oldest son, Alec, was born in Korea and adopted at the age of 5 months. He is now 19. Our youngest is Abby, who was born in Thailand and adopted at the age of 10 months. She is now 15. Our middle child, Marcus, was born in Houston, Texas and adopted at […]
Rarely do we look at suicide loss with a positive lens. Yet, after loss we often learn how strong we truly are. Each day brings new challenges after losing someone we love. While we might not be where we want to be, there is always that hope that we will be better tomorrow, and even better the day after that. Use that desire to inspire yourself to live each day to its fullest. And if today, you just need to “be.” Then be. But hold on to the fire within and the desire to be better.
This week we welcome guest writer, Sarah Finch. We thank Sarah for sharing her feelings of loneliness following her dad’s death by suicide. LONELINESS The days following my dad’s death by suicide were the loneliest of my life. In a roomful of people, in the midst of a hug, in the middle of a conversation, the resounding thought I had was that I was alone. No one had the relationship I did with my dad, no one knew all the struggles he had endured that he shared with me, and no one could possibly understand the shock, sadness or emptiness I was feeling. In addition to the isolation I felt after my dad’s death, I experienced an added layer of self-imposed loneliness because of the manner in which my dad died. Mental illness and suicide […]
Silence is golden. Have you heard this popular quote? While this quote is fairly popular, silence is something that our society is often not comfortable with. We assume that silence is a bad thing, often interrupting these quiet moments with conversation. During my grief journey, I have learned to embrace silence. Silence leads to reflection. Silence leads to growth. Silence leads to self acceptance. This week, we encourage you to embrace silence. Spend a couple minutes in silence reflecting on all that you have overcome, noting your own strength.
It’s been tough to escape the news of the unfortunate crash of Germanwings flight 9525 in the French Alps, which appears to have been caused by the co-pilot’s suicide. In addition to ending his own life, he killed 149 passengers onboard. As they commonly do, the media have spent days covering the ins and outs of the tragedy, including analysis of the mental state of a depressed or suicidal person. While I would prefer to change the channel, my husband is a news fanatic and has been glued to the coverage. My feathers ruffle easily at all of the ignorant comments about suicide that come from reporters, commentators and the general public so I usually prefer to keep away. Coping with highly-publicized suicides can be difficult. On one hand, I feel for those who are […]