Stop Telling me to “Get Over It!” Changing how we Look at Loss

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While I believe that the Stages of Grief are outdated, I love this quote from Elisabeth Kubler-Ross.  It sums up life after a great loss, and challenges you to think about loss differently.  Grief does not have an end date, nor should it.  How can someone just wake up one day, and no longer miss the person that they lost?  It isn't realistic.  As a society we believe that people should "get over it."  How many times have I heard this phrase ...

Challenging the Belief: Suicide is a Selfish Act

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I myself am guilty of believing that suicide is a selfish act.  Then I lost my father to suicide, and my belief system has completely changed.  People who die by suicide have an illness; a disease of the brain.  It just doesn't manifest itself like other illnesses, making it difficult for those to see the depth of the individual's pain.  John's Mom lost her son to suicide at the young age of 25.  We wanted to share her grief story as it ...

Believing that Dad has Finally Found his Peace

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This quote made me smile, and I wanted to pass it along to our readers.  While there isn't a day that goes by that I don't miss my dad and wish he were here, I like to think that he has finally found his peace.  For that is what he hoped to accomplish the day his life ended.  I believe that is what every person is trying to accomplish when they end their life.  The thought of him being happy, free from the demons that filled his head, has brought ...

Four Years Later: Marking the Anniversary of My Dad’s Suicide

our side of suicide

To be honest, I hadn’t planned on doing anything of significance to mark the four-year anniversary of my dad’s suicide this week. I tend to think it’s better to focus on happier occasions, like his birthday or the holidays we enjoyed together. The craziness of chasing around my 10-month-old, coupled with picking up the house and getting ready for the day certainly served as helpful distractions. However, as the date loomed, I received a couple of ...

The New Normal-Life after Suicide

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As a survivor, I have become accustomed to what is often referred to as "The New Normal."  Life after suicide is different than it was before.  While we have been introduced to a new level of pain, we also have been introduced to a new type of living.  Since losing my father to suicide, I can say that I have become a much more confident person.  I appreciate the little things more than I ever have.  I strive to find happiness in the here and now. ...