We often talk about the pain associated with the past after losing a loved one to suicide. Regrets about not doing things differently can be consuming in the aftermath of a tragic loss. What we fail to discuss is the pain experienced when we are forced to accept what will never be. Whether you are conscious of it or not, we are constantly making plans for the future. We look at our children and imagine who they will one day become. We never expect for our sibling to not be present at major life events. We expect our parents to be next to us, guiding us through life’s challenges. When we commit ourselves to another, we have already imagined growing old with them. When we lose someone to suicide, the images of the future are suddenly washed away. While life is far from predictable, in our minds we have already created what we think will be our future. In an instant what looked like a path ahead, is nothing more than an open field. Part of the grief journey is deciding where our path will begin. Roads are not built overnight; our new paths aren’t either. Acknowledge that in addition to grieving the person you lost, you are grieving what will never be. There is still beauty in the future….it just takes a little time to rebuild it.