I have written and asked over and over again, “Why was my love not enough to save my son, Tom?” And today the answer hit me. My love was not enough because mental illness is not about love. It is about biology. I am reminded of Amy Bleuel’s words, “It is a brain illness…” It is a physical illness which overtakes our bodies. Love is not enough to treat a broken bone or cancer or chronic pain or any other number of medical challenges we face. It is ...
Don’t Stop Talking
Talking about our loved ones after their death is especially difficult after a suicide. Not only is it painful for the survivor of the loss, but we have the added bonus of the other persons discomfort. That "Oh my gosh, what do I say" face. I think the most frustrating thing for me is the feeling that I have after. This overwhelming sense that I need to defend my dad's character. I have a wide array of stories about my dad, and still to this ...
The Power of the Stigma of Mental Illness
Six months prior to losing my dad to suicide, I graduated with my Master's in Clinical Psychology. I entered the field working in community mental health where I received my first dose of reality when it comes to the stigma of mental illness. Working alongside individuals with chronic illnesses such as Schizophrenia, Bipolar Disorder One (yes, there are different kinds), and Major Depressive Disorder showed me firsthand how our society treats ...
Conversations about Suicide
This week we welcome guest blogger, Deborah Greene, who lost her father to suicide on April 20th, 2015. She offers her reflection on the last conversation she had with her father prior to his death. We thank Deborah for a sharing a piece of her grief journey with us.
In one of the last conversations that I had with my father, I recounted an episode of severe depression that he’d experienced when I was a child. He had left his job after ...
My Message for Survivors of Suicide
I was recently asked to share my grief journey on the survivors of suicide site, The Gift of Second. I wanted to share my video with our readers in an effort to offer insight and perspective on suicide, mental illness and grief. I have learned a lot about myself in the four years after losing my dad to suicide. While his death caused tremendous pain, it also led to a different outlook on life. Not only has his death made me a stronger, more ...