Letting go of the anger after suicide can be extremely difficult. Our anger can be directed at ourselves, asking, “How could I have prevented this” or at the person we lost questioning, “How could you have left me like this?” While it is important to feel anger, it can be toxic to hold on to it. Anger often lies on the surface, covering up emotions such as pain, hurt, and fear. If we don’t let go of the anger, we can’t heal the pain underneath.
Thank you for this post. I feel like I am mostly not angry at my partner for ending his life, if I do feel angry sometimes it quickly turns to forgiveness as I loved him so much and saw how much he struggled. Instead I am angry at other people – when I’m in a crowd I just feel angry at all those strangers for still being alive when he is not. I am angry at friends who say things to me that are well intentioned but hurtful. I guess underneath it all I am angry that my life has suddenly turned upside down to a life I didn’t plan, didn’t want, and don’t enjoy because he is not here. I need to feel this anger in order to let it go but I don’t know how. How do I feel it without getting stuck in it? Thanks for your help.
I often refer to this as redirected anger. I spent many years angry at my dad’s therapist. In my opinion you have to feel the anger to get through the pain. For me, connecting with other survivors was really helpful. They truly understood what I was going through. I found my friends and family only made me angrier as they just didn’t get it. Now, four years later, I have been able to let go of the anger and not resent others for not having to experience the pain I did. Do they have any support groups where you are located?