After the loss of my dad to suicide, I remember many people commenting on my strength. I would think to myself, “You don’t see me when the doors close.” Strength was not a characteristic I would have used to describe myself in those moments following the tragic loss I experienced. Yet looking back, I do see the strength I posed. The strength to not allow life to completely knock me down. I think we all struggle to recognize our strength after experiencing a tragic loss. We may struggle to get up in the mornings, struggle to stop the tears, struggle to smile or experience happiness. That isn’t weakness; that is grief. Allowing ourselves to experience the pain following a tragic loss IS strength. So, find your footing, acknowledge that you haven’t been knocked down forever, and adjust your sails.
This is such a great point. I experienced the loss of my significant other to suicide last month and it is horrible. Grief can be debilitating, but it’s about adapting to this new life. Thank you for your writing.
You are welcome! Yes it can be debilitating. Yes it can feel like we stop, and life just happens around us. But we can adapt, and we can endure! I am happy that this post was helpful for you:)
I lost my husband to suicide on June 4, 2014. It is devastating and I wondered how I was ever going to make it through the next few months. A year just passed and I feel stronger and I AM able to go on. We have been left behind to live life here on earth so we need to live it to the fullest even as the struggles come in our lives. Thank you for this website.
I have just loss my stepson to suicide on May 29, 2015. He suffered from so many problems but the worst of it was his PTSD from the military. I can still hear the wail in my ears of my husband from down the streets when the medical examiner had told us he was gone. Rollercoaster of emotions I never even knew existed, but this nothing in my whole life I had ever experienced. My husband did convey to his doctor that he was under extreme depression and we will together be getting the support we need. Still so so much to do and yet, in the midst of it all, we must live and go on. I have been an advocate for Suicide Awareness for decades, never knew it would it effect me personally…. and I will continue for the rest of my life TALK about Suicide Awareness in Memory of Jefferson Brown IV. Love you son.
I am so sorry for your loss. I lost my Veteran boyfriend May 10. TAPS (Tragedy Assistance Program for Survivors) is a great support program for those families that have lost a military loved one- 800-959-8277.
Katherine, I am so very sorry to hear of your loss. We have yet to have had any guidance from the VA, thank you so much! I will share this info on to his wife and for the two daughters who are teenagers. I am so grateful for you ladies to daily be assisting all of us that are new survivors as we have no idea where to turn to.
Kim, we are so happy that you found our site, although I wish it was for a different reason. It breaks my heart to hear of another veteran losing their battle to mental illness. PTSD is horrific, and the lack of support provided by the VA angers me. I do hope that you will continue to talk. WE are the ones who will end the stigma and make changes in this world. We hope that our posts continue to provide you assistance while you grieve. You are most certainly not alone!
Hi Kim, Ive been wanting to reach out to you and your husband Jeff to tell you both that Im sorry about your lost, over a year has passed by now since Jeff left us, it was very shocking for me,the little time I got to know him I knew he was just a wonderful person, I think about him a lot all the time and I treasure every moment we shared. This message might not mean a lot to you because we barely saw each other once but it does mean a lot to me.
I’m very sorry for not reaching out sooner, I never felt it was the right time specially when you grieving someone.
I hope you and your family are doing well and take good care of yourself.
Hi Andrea, thank you for reaching out to me. Today is possibly going to be hard as we are having our holiday BBQ. I am thankful for my husband’s friends that will be coming over. Jeff (my husband) loves cooking, baking and having family and friends over. A lot of that stop after losing lil Jeff as he was Jeff’s only blood family that lived here. He would still cook on the holidays that most of us don’t get together on (you know the other 8 or so throughout the year) Veterans Day and Memorial Day are the hardest. It makes us happy to know how much lil Jeff meant to so many people and that his memory is still going on. We follow his Facebook page and friends and family are posting on there regularly. It’s great when pictures are shared as we get to save them. I am sorry to say that I don’t remember meeting you but lil Jeff did have so many friends. We will walking again this year at Liberty Station in San Diego for the AFSP 5K Walk and I have set up team page Never Forgotten Jeff. I hope you can make it, if not, if you can donate any amount to this valuable organization in memory of Jeff. Thank you again for your kind words. Hope your treasured moments in your heart never fade away. Have a great weekend. Kim
Thank you for providing this resource!