When I am asked, “When will the pain end” I simply answer, “It won’t.” In order to no longer feel pain, the person you lost would have to be erased from your memory. It is not possible to no longer feel the sadness left behind after tragic loss. I do not tell people that the pain doesn’t go away, to make them feel hopeless. Instead, I tell them in an effort to help them set realistic expectations for themselves. 
When one experiences a “grief attack” they assume that they are some how not grieving the right way. The people that surround us often reiterate this belief noting “you should be over it by now.” No, you shouldn’t. That is not a realistic expectation. We will always grieve. We will always feel moments of overwhelming sadness. They just become less intense, and less frequent. Moving forward doesn’t mean forgetting; it means that we are able to live again.
Thanks for this post. My brother took his life last December 16, and I experience grief attacks often. I’m glad to know it’s normal.
My husband committed suicide almost 5 years ago. I agree that one does not just get over it. There are days when I cry uncontrollably, others where I am fine. Suicide hurts the ones that are left behind more than your loved one will ever realize.
My son suffered from a mental illness that ended with him taking his life. In his will he asked that we help the homeless on his birthday each year and it has turned into a wonderful celebration of his life and helping others (hoboday.org). Although the pain still exists, focusing on his many talents and gifts to us as well as helping others when celebrating his life has added a bright side to what otherwise could be be sadness. Hope that helps others who are dealing with a loved ones loss. Find a way to make a positive out of it, even if it’s a challenge. Thx.