Not only acknowledging, but accepting that our life will never be the same as it was before our loved one took their life is not an easy part of the grief journey. 
We try desperately to hold on to the life we had before. The problem with this, is that it keeps us in the past. Trying to go back is like an adult attempting to live like they did during their adolescence. It just isn’t possible. Too much has happened. Life has changed; we have changed. Accepting that life will never be the same, doesn’t mean that we have to forget the life we lived before. We need to cherish those memories, and the moments we had. Those memories keep us connected to the person we lost. Acceptance comes when we are able to figure out how to live in this new world, and how to incorporate the person we lost into our new life. While they may not be physically present, that does not mean that we can’t feel a connection. It is just a different kind of connection. Life after a suicide is different. Just remember, different can be good; it just takes a little getting used to.
This is what I am struggling with the most. Accepting who I am now and that my life is not the same. How do I accept my new life and my different self? I need help. I beat myself up and tell myself to get over it and keep all my hurt buried inside. It has already been a year-and-a-half since that horrible day. I’ve joined a second grief group. I just want to be loved and accepted and to not feel so heartbroken every day. God please heal this aching heart!!
I found my fiance on March 25th, my mother’s birthday. She had passed in 2014. He had sent to me a friends and when I came back I found he had hung himself in our closet. I’m in shock. I don’t know how I’m getting through this. I’m also a mother of 5. His children took him off life support on Easter at 7:05. I kissed him as he took his last breath. I also found my father when I was 8, he had had a heart attack though. But I was able to say goodbye to him and hear him say he loved me. Bryan and I didn’t have that opportunity. I’ve had signs and seen him in my dreams. I have to keep going for my kids. I have to remain strong. I have to persevere. The physical aspect of him is gone but the way he touched my heart will never change and I never want it to cease. <3