One thing I personally struggled with after the loss of my father to suicide, was finding others who not only understood, but who wanted to hear about my struggles long after the death occurred. Immediately following news of his death, I was flooded with support. Messages from people I haven’t spoken to in years, flowers from acquaintances, people calling just to say, “I am thinking of you.” Week by week, the calls became less frequent and friends didn’t want to hear me rehash the same story over and over. I grew angry and resentful at the people I love and the world around me. 
“How could you not understand my pain?” But that is just it; they couldn’t. A loss by suicide is different than a natural loss. While we know that our internal struggle runs to the depths of our soul, it can be difficult to explain to others as we desperately try and help them understand. I speak often on the topic of traumatic loss and wanted to share a quick interview I did that defines what this type of loss is, and how it complicates the grief process. It might assist you with helping others understand what you are feeling.
It is the second video on the page, titled “Traumatic Loss”
My son died by suicide in Nov. of 2015. I am coming to see his death as the outcome of a disease. No different than if it had been cancer or an accident. I find it difficult to explain that I just do not see what happened as any sort of choice or decision.
My grief is new and I cannot speak to how I will be in a year, or five years. His death is a loss I will carry the rest of my life, but it would be no matter what the cause had been.
I too talk about my dad’s death in terms of his loss to depression. Suicide is the means in which he died, but depression/anxiety took his life. Mental illness isn’t different than a physical illness. They both cause a tremendous amount of pain. It is an ongoing process, and a loss you will carry for the rest of your life. But, the pain does eventually turn to joy as we think about all of the good times we shared with the person we lost. It just takes time.
Our son took his life 3 months ago. His 14 year old Brother is a sad, confused boy. I worry for him too now. His school seem not to understand the depth of his grief and have sent him home alone on the train for weeping in class. There is a counsellor there intermitently. I am trying to find resources to help the school understand. If I am feeling as I do as a mother of a son who ended his life, A 14 year old would be absolutelt traumatised too. Its so very hard. Thankyou for the article.