When someone dies unexpectedly, we do not have the ability to process what this death means. We do not have time to plan, and we do not have time to think about a future without the person that we lost. 
In a minute, often a violent minute, this person is taken away from us. Every thought about the future now becomes a blur; nothing makes sense. This is one aspect of suicide grief that is difficult for others to understand if they have not been touched by suicide. Often it isn’t just about the loss of life, but the loss of what might have or should have been. I remember when my own father died. I thought about how my future children would not meet their grandfather. I never met his dad, and now they will never meet mine. That took time to reconcile with. My mind simply didn’t think that would ever be possible. I had to train my brain to think differently about my future. It is a practice that I still have to continue today as I have to remind myself that my dad is no longer here. So, when people tell you to “move on” or “get it over it” remind yourself that it isn’t just about the loss. We have to grieve the future we weren’t able to have with the person we lost as well.
My grandson took his life Dec 27, 2014 at age 20, eleven months prior to that date his cousin also 20 years old was killed at Michigan State. I still can’t find my way forward from those dates.
Yes, I’m functional doing life’s daily things but my mind is on auto pilot. All my dear friends want me to be okay and get on with life I quess so they can be okay too.
I miss the lives they should be living D.J would graduate this year from state he would have done great things . Trevon suffered every day with depression and I don’t know what his life would be like today, I just know I wish he was here to live it selfish as that may sound.
Time doesn’t change anything except the date for me and on days like this I understand hopelessness and pain that goes so deep that you can’t bear it. Grief does not go away., it just moves to different places in your heart.
My husband of 25 yrs committed suicide almost 3 yrs ago , and our notes 16 yr. Old daughter is still struggling just b as bad as she was 32 mo. Ago I dont know what to do to help .
* Our now
Dear Jessica,
Thank you for this website and all of your thoughtful posts which are a comfort to me this Sunday morning as I continue to grieve for my boyfriend. I am so sorry for the loss of your father who looks like a wonderful, kind and sensitive man in your photo. It is not only hard to hear the immediate news of a loved one’s death but you are right that it’s even harder to imagine a future without them. Their missing place at the table, so to speak, is suddenly evident in all areas and aspects of life which can be overwhelming. I burst into tears at the grocery store because I had no need to pick up items for my boyfriend anymore. He’s left a big hole in my heart and life but little by little it is filling up with compassion, understanding and acceptance of what has happened.