In the aftermath of my father’s death I heard time and time again, “You are so strong.” I didn’t have the energy or ability to even think about these comments at the time. I was in a daze, still trying to figure out what just happened in my world. 
As the months passed, and the comments continued I remember thinking, “If you only knew.” I felt like a fraud. Nobody saw the person I was when nobody was around, or could hear the voice in my head. I felt anything but strong. I felt unsettled, weak, and unstable. I stopped listening to others and started listening to the little voice in my head. This ultimately led to my own bout of depression. Fast forward four years later, and I have started to question the notion of strength. Strength isn’t about pretending; it is about being your authentic self. Strength is asking for help, and acknowledging that you can’t do it all. Strength is getting through the day even though you feel like you are swimming through molasses. Looking back, I was strong. I felt weak but I had more strength than I was able to recognize. When people comment on my strength now, I do not allow myself to question it. I am strong. Anyone who losses someone they love tragically is. Don’t question your strength, accept that it lies within.
