I spoke with another survivor awhile back. He mentioned to me that today was “a bad day.” He continued to discuss how his week had been “full of ups and downs,” leaving him feeling depleted. Isn’t it strange how we examine every single day after losing a loved one to suicide? It’s as if we never had a bad day before our tragic loss. Life in general is full of ups and downs. We reach exhaustion after a long week. Something at work happens that puts a damper on our day. Traffic is worse than usual, making us late. The list goes on and on. Yet after we experience loss, its as if we no longer allow ourselves to have a bad day. Everything is magnified after a suicide. A bad day, means we aren’t moving forward. Crying is a sign that we haven’t moved forward. The need to take a nap on a Saturday means that there is something wrong with us. These weren’t true before our loss, and they aren’t true now. Allow yourself to have a bad day. It is a part of life, and a part of the grief journey. Have faith that tomorrow will be better.
I watched an old episode of MASH the other day. Hawkeye was consoling a soldier who lost his comrades and was having trouble dealing with his loss and was asking how he could possibly go on living. He told the soldier “Nobody forgets what happened. The secret is learning to live with it”.
Yesterday was one of those “bad days” for me. I had a really nice weekend and then all of a sudden I became obsessed with thoughts regarding losing my brother to suicide two months ago. Grief overcame me and I cried for a long while. Then, I made myself some tea and put on a face mask. Today, I feel much better. These bad days definitely feel worse than bad days before his death but it is important to remember they will pass.
We lost our 16yr old son last year to suicide, its so incredibly hard to function on a daily basis sometimes. Just lost 💔
I am so sorry for your loss. I can’t begin to imagine your heartache. My son lost his dear friend this week to suicide. Is there anything that gave you peace & comfort that stood out to you after the loss of your son? I really would like to do something for the parents.
Thank you!!!!
Thank you. I get hit by grief attacks but it’s okay.