There are a couple things that I tell people who ask me how to support someone who has recently lost a loved one to suicide. First, I tell them to be there when the rest of the world moves on. 
Second piece of advice: it’s not about what you say, it’s about being there. There is nothing you can say to take the pain away. In fact, the more you say the more frustrated the person can get because their pain is not being validated. Your words don’t bring as much comfort as your presence. Suicide makes the familiar feel unfamiliar. Your presence provides some sense of familiarity. I also think this is why people begin to distance themselves. They try to make the person feel better with their words, and when they don’t help they give up. If only they understood that it’s not about their words. And if only we survivors understood that they aren’t leaving us because they don’t care, they leave because they think they aren’t helping. Don’t be afraid to tell people what you need. It is YOUR time to be selfish.
Share with others, so they understand what we really need after losing a loved one to suicide.
Someone told me after the suicide death of my fiancé, that the person that comments suicide is inflicting their pain that they were going through on their loved ones that they are leaving behind! Is this statement true?
Thank you so much for this awesome blog that you have created. I started feeling down and then I opened my emails and I was so happy to see a email from you. It lifted my spirits and now I am ready for another day🌞
Sincerely, Debbie wilkinson
This warms my heart Debbie. I am so happy that we are able to lift your spirits! Go get um!
I agree. Even just a “I’m thinking about you” text is so helpful to not feel forgotten and alone.
6 months ago on July 6th 2016 my 24 year old daughter took her own life. This was something we thought may happen but prayed it wouldn’t. Her doctor had told us that ‘the light at the end of the tunnel would probably be a train’. She was my youngest of three children and I miss her so very much. She was funny, quirky, kind, generous and a pain in the butt but I loved her unconditionally. I have only just gone back to work and when the day finishes I come home and the tears fall. I live alone now and the silence is deafening! I want to hear her voice as she comes in the door “Hey Mum!” would be her greeting and in my mind I can still hear her. “Hey, Talia, I miss you and love you way past infinity xxxxxxxxx
And your love never ends.
I know you thought it would be enough to keep her alive.
Sometimes, it just has nothing to do with us. Even if we are a Mom, a Dad, a Sister, Brother, Dear Friend etc.
Sometimes, it’s just not about us.
I am so sorry. Loss is a 3 letter word. Love is 4. How we combine them is as personal as we are.