We are all searching for the roadmap for grief. Something to guide us, give us predictability, and most importantly, tell us when the pain will end. 
Let me let you in on a little secret….this roadmap doesn’t exist. It simply would be impossible to create. Nobody’s grief journey is the same, because no two relationships are the same, and no two pasts are the same. Two children can grow up in the same house, and view every experience differently. We are all wired differently. What motivates one person, is unappealing to the next. We all cope differently, and most importantly we all show our sadness differently. Some people display it more than others. It doesn’t always mean they are doing better; sometimes, they are simply hiding it better than another. Don’t compare your grief journey to anyone else. They aren’t grieving better. You aren’t doing anything wrong. Focus on your journey, and take comfort in knowing there is no roadmap for grief.
I’ve always been one to like order and stability. For me it helps to keep me grounded. If there was such a thing as a grief map, you bet I would be willing to use it. If I had a map to show me the way perhaps I wouldn’t feel so scared. Perhaps I wouldn’t feel like I am constantly going around and around in circles and getting nowhere or that I am stumbling around in the dark, lost and lonely on this grief journey of mine.
This is so very true! It has been just over one month since I lost my mother to suicide. I was stuck in anger for a while. And all of a sudden I am terribly sad. My anger will creep up out of no where and overshadow my sadness, but thankfully it doesn’t last that long anymore. But when the sadness comes, it hits hard. And feels debilitating. I know it will get easier. But its so hard. I miss her. My sister and I feel the same emotions, but always at different times. And it seems like the intensity is different. I sometimes wish there was something to tell me what stage was next and how long each one was going to last and then it would be over. But that just is not the case. The feelings come and go and come again.
It’s been 53 days and the pain is so deep I don’t know how to manage it. My husband stole the best parts of me when he took his life. My children are amazing, and seem to have everything in perspective, I’m almost resentful of the return to normality they present to the world. I say present because I can see the sorrow they all try to hide from me in hopes of helping me make some sense of transition to my new norm.
25 years living with your best friend, the one person in the world that never judged you always supported you. I am at a loss , how I am to go on.