In the aftermath of a suicide loss, the first thing you want to do is run. The pain is intense, often times feeling unbearable. 
I think we have to run for a little while. Our bodies and minds need time to process the traumatic event that just occurred. It is healthy to want to avoid the pain. It becomes unhealthy when one goes to extremes to try and avoid the pain. That’s the thing about running. The pain will always be right behind you, waiting for you to stop. The problem with pain is, it doesn’t just go away. You have to feel the pain, in order to heal the pain. You don’t have to immerse yourself in it, but you have to allow yourself to go there. Courage. That is what grieving takes. It takes tremendous courage to feel the pain. Take the time to acknowledge the courage you possess. It is there. It sometimes just takes a little time to find it.
I just don’t understand how to take out the pain it is awful all I want to do is get out of the area that I’m living in right now I’ve been trying for 3 years to get out of here betaine seems to get deeper and seem to be more of an angry person then I ever have been people are making comments and I’m about ready to explode I just don’t know where to go
If I could have run from my pain, I would have. It was always all around me, not just behind me. There was no escaping the pain I endured.
There are many resources that can help…if you want to be open to them. 1st thing is you need to accept the situation. I found my teenaged daughter a year and a half ago. I’ve done many therapies, including 2 different types for PTSD.
I have many resources if you’d like assistance.
It’s been 6 months today since my son died by suicide. I feel the pain everyday.
Dear Robyn. I’m so sorry for your loss. My heart is breaking for you. I also lost my son to suicide last year. It has been about 14 months. I still have tears every day. Recently, I feel like I’m slowly accepting this as a part of my life, but I don’t know. The overwhelming pains will attack me unexpectedly. This battle will be my life. The only thing I can clearly tell you is that you are not alone.
My brother’s suicide was 6 months on April 5th. So tough.
This is incredible, for me. I lost my daughter (15) a little over a year and a half ago. I went through a hospitalization, 2 outpatient programs and consistent therapy along with meds. I did a LOT of reading and grieved when necessary. Never held back when i had to. Would drop to the floor in the middle of a store at times.
Today, I feel life. I have a 2 wk old grandson and i feel love in my heart again. She was given to me for a reason and stayed a short, yet long, time fir a reason.
The pain must be felt. It won’t go away. It can’t be ignored. It shouldn’t be attempted to be ignored. I know the pain i felt didn’t compare to what she felt inside.
Thank you for writing this.
Lisa
have you used any outside resources? Therapy, groups, AFSP, Out of the Darkness?