This quote sums up what makes the mourning process more difficult than what we have been taught. We live in a fast paced society, where we are expected to keep going. “Get over it.” “It is time to move on.” 
These are common phrases heard in the aftermath of a suicide loss. What people fail to acknowledge after a loss, is it isn’t just about the loss of life. It is about the loss of a future that is no longer possible. This notion is often what takes the longest to acknowledge and accept. “Getting over it” just isn’t possible. We have to figure out who we are now that this person we loved and expected to be in our future is no longer here. We have to figure out what our future will look like without the person we lost. We have to try and make sense of an act that appears to be senseless. THIS is why you can’t just “get over it.” It takes time to move forward in a world that no longer makes sense. Most importantly, do not allow the expectations of others to change your perception of self. Moving forward takes time.
Thank you Jessica for putting into words what so many of us feel. That’s 100% true and it’s taken me a while to realize that.
Totally agree! The “future” hopes change as well as we age, change jobs, retire or health issues arise. Moving forward also has to take all those life transitions into account as well. Decision making becomes a real challenge.
OMG!!! Thank you for posting this!!
So touching and so true!
Thank you for this post on mourning our future without our loved one. It has been so helpful to me to see new posts and to be able connect with others who have survived this devastation. I never imagined my life without my sister. We always had each other and I assumed this was how our lives would end. I never could have imagined a world without my sister. It is painful to look too far ahead.
The posts on this site are a lifeline to many who are navigating a very lonely maze of devastation and loss. Thank you.
Perfect.
This couldn’t have been more well said. There simply is no getting over it. 10 years have now passed since my mother’s suicide and not a day goes by without including her in my future thoughts…
My ex husband, and biological Father to my child, took his life on January 20th, 2016. Even though he and I had not been married for over 15 years, his death has shaken me to the core. Just yesterday, I told my current husband that I thought I was ok but, I am not. I want answers that will not come. So, your post is somewhat of a soothing balm to my soul.
I lost my husband to suicide this March. I’m a 21 year old widow and I have no idea what my future (which was so bright and filled with the expectation of love and family and growing old together) is supposed to look like now. I really do have to mourn the life I thought I was going to have with him.
Thank you Jessica for this post which I find very helpful and all the comments above which are so supportive.
After losing my daughter to suicide I came to realize for the first time the painful truth, as the French writer Paul Valéry once wrote:
‘L’avenir est comme le reste: il n’est plus ce qu’il était.’
Translated into English:’ The future, like everything else, is no longer quite what it used to be.’
Following this post I now understand the importance in mourning this aspect of my life to help come to terms with the terrible loss that has confronted us.