Picture This

We have many pictures of Tom from his younger days. He often wore a huge smile complete with a gap between his two front teeth. You could see his love of life on his face. I look at those pictures now and long to hold that carefree child again.

As Tom matured, he did not like having his picture taken. He would sit for his annual school picture because the district required it for its records, and because I asked him to so I would have pictures to share with our extended family, but he hated it. When pressed for a reason for his reticence, he told me he did not like his smile, even after we spent a small fortune on braces which erased the gap. Holidays and special events were stressful because I wanted picture documentation of those times when he did not. In most of the pictures of his teenage years, he wears a close mouthed smile without the sparkle in his eyes from his younger years.

I reflect on how odd it was a few years ago to open the local paper and see a picture of my husband, LJ, Tom, and me on the front page. Even though I supplied the picture, it was still a shock. I love that picture of Tom because it lacks the self-consciousness of so many of the other pictures I have of him during his teenage years. There is a light and gentleness is his eyes which draw me in. The picture also documents an eventful day we spent together.

The picture was taken by a stranger in Seattle at the 5^th Avenue Theatre about a year before Tom’s death. She saw us struggling to snap a three person selfie on the second floor of the lobby and offered to take it for us. Tom had agreed to join me and LJ at a Sunday matinee performance of “Spamalot.” I was thrilled he chose to attend with us, because even though he worked technical crew on many shows I directed, he did not really have a passion for theatre. But he shared my appreciation for Monty Python and the play was based upon the movie “Monty Python and the Holy Grail.” LJ and I had seen the play in Yakima and loved it. At that time, we agreed if it ever came back to Washington State we would try to get Tom to attend with us, because we thought it would be something we could enjoy together.

And we were right. Tom loved the play, and LJ and I appreciated seeing another production of the show. It was a nice capstone to a weekend out-of-town adventure. Even though there was a snow storm hovering over the state, we headed home after the play because Monday’s work and school beckoned. We watched the weather reports closely and saw Snoqualmie Pass might close due to the poor weather, so we chose to take the long way home, down I-5 and through the Columbia Gorge, thinking that would be an easier drive. Unfortunately, the roads in the Gorge were just as treacherous. Driving was slow going, trucks were all over the road, and the trip was definitely white-knuckle.

While crawling our way just past Cascade Locks, we witnessed a serious accident. The road was a black ice sheet and two vehicles had already collided. The car in front of us crashed into one of them. Car parts went flying through the air and covered the roadway in front of us. LJ kept his calm and managed to avoid the three vehicles and all of the roadway debris. Once past the wrecks, we contacted 911 and reported the accident. We then continued on our way, against our better judgement, because there was no place to stay between the accident and home. When we arrived home, I think we were in shock, amazed we survived and reminded of our own mortality. LJ and I were definitely shaken. I am not sure Tom had any idea how close we had come that night to serious injury or worse.

I look at this picture often. It is one of my favorites of him. In fact, it is the picture we ordered for his headstone. While I remembered when the picture was taken, I had forgotten the near-miss accident occurred that same day. I am amazed to think, in hindsight, we could have lost him on that trip home, but instead we were blessed with another year with him. I am so thankful for the time we had with him and to have this picture of one of our happiest times together.