Offering hope, comfort and support for survivors of suicide loss.
"Just hold on." I love this phrase. It is somewhat perfect after experiencing a loss by suicide. In the early days, it seems nearly impossible to have anything that resembles a wonderful day. The pain is on the surface; it is strong, overpowering, and consuming. People will offer words of encouragement such as, "this too will pass" or "give it time." While they mean well, phrases such as these almost feel insulting in the aftermath of a ...
We are all searching for the roadmap for grief. Something to guide us, give us predictability, and most importantly, tell us when the pain will end. Let me let you in on a little secret....this roadmap doesn't exist. It simply would be impossible to create. Nobody's grief journey is the same, because no two relationships are the same, and no two pasts are the same. Two children can grow up in the same house, and view every experience ...
We often talk about the pain associated with the past after losing a loved one to suicide. Regrets about not doing things differently can be consuming in the aftermath of a tragic loss. What we fail to discuss is the pain experienced when we are forced to accept what will never be. Whether you are conscious of it or not, we are constantly making plans for the future. We look at our children and imagine who they will one day become. We never ...
Regardless of my father's suicide, I have always disliked the question, "How are you?" Do people really want to know the answer? I'm not sure people are even equipped to deal with anything other than, "I'm ok." What makes it more difficult is when you are struggling with a response. "How are you?" How difficult is it to find an answer when you yourself don't know. This is what happens in the aftermath of a suicide loss. It is difficult to ...
How often have you said to yourself, "I should have known?" Or, "I should have been able to prevent this?" There is a reason they say, "Hindsight is 20/20." Everything is perfectly clear AFTER the event. Every behavior, every action, every word all hold new meaning. It can be difficult not to blame yourself for your loved ones' suicide if you are looking through the hindsight lens.
It is unclear why letting yourself off the hook is so ...
