The infamous, "Why?" Any survivor of a suicide loss knows how a word as simple as, "why" takes on more meaning in the aftermath of a suicide. The word can be consuming as you diligently work to uncover the reason "why" your loved one felt that life was too hard to go on. It's exhausting. You find a piece of the puzzle only to then realize how many more are missing. There is never a sense of accomplishment. Every answer seems to lead to a new ...
Why do the Demons Win?
I was sitting with a client of mine the other day. She is a young woman who has experienced a significant amount of trauma, that has left her feeling chronically suicidal. It is always a tough place for me to be. Professionally, I know how the demons can lead you to a place where you feel like there is nothing left to live for. However, as a survivor of a suicide loss, I know the devastating pain that is left behind. Like all of my clients, she ...
Moving Beyond “Why?”
The infamous question we as survivors of a suicide loss ask ourselves, "why?" "Why would they do this?" "Why would this happen?" "Why didn't anyone prevent it from happening?" I could write an entire book on the "why" questions that I have asked since losing my dad to suicide. Problem with "why" is that there aren't any concrete answers. There is no magical equation that will give us a definitive answer. The one and only answer lies with the one ...
How to Talk to Someone Who Has Lost a Loved One to Suicide
Guest blogger Kimberly lost her son Tom to suicide. As many survivors have experienced, Kimberly faced many inappropriate and tough questions from others, even though they may have been asked with the best of intentions. Today, she shares a "guide" with tips for talking to those bereaved by suicide loss. Though it's written by a mother, the questions apply to all survivors.
A Mother’s Guide
When Tom died, I was thankfully referred to ...
Dealing with Guilt after Suicide
Dealing with guilt after suicide is a topic I often write about on our blog. It is described as the "crippling" emotion; an emotion that leaves a person feeling a sense of remorse. On my own grief journey, I found guilt to be the most difficult emotion to work through. Hence why I write about this topic so frequently. I have not only questioned my own role in my dad's suicide, but also how much control I actually had in preventing this tragic ...