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Why people ask, “Did you see the signs?”

Jessica | September 29, 2016

In the four plus years since losing my dad to suicide, I have had a number of people ask me, "Did you see the signs?"  For a long time I struggled with my response.  The angry person in me wanted to say, "If I did do you think we would be having this conversation?"  The guilty person in me wanted to say, "Yes, I did.  I should have been able to stop him."  The bitter person in me wanted to say, "In what world is that question appropriate?"  As a ...

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Feeling the Pressure after a Tragic Loss

Jessica | September 26, 2016

As a survivor, we have all felt the pressure to "move on" after tragically losing someone we love.  As a society we have created this belief that grief begins when the person dies, and ends shortly after.  For starters, grief doesn't end.  It just becomes less present in our everyday life.  Second, when you experience a tragic loss, you should not be expected to move on as quickly as someone who did not lose someone tragically.  The unthinkable ...

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Remembering Loved Ones after Death

Jessica | September 19, 2016

Remembering loved ones after death can be difficult after losing a loved one to suicide.  Everybody wants to know HOW your loved one died.  Our insecurities gain intensity as we fear that others are judging us, or the person that we lost.  Unlike a natural death, we are constantly reminded of our loved ones' death.  Their final act can easily become their story, if we allow it to.  While their final act is often the one that changes us the most, ...

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Is it OK to be happy? Guilt and Suicide

Jessica | September 12, 2016

Guilt and suicide.  Two words that often go hand in hand after a tragic loss.  Predominantly it is in the context of what we wish we could have done to prevent our loved ones' suicide.  But, there is another type of guilt.  The guilt we feel when we allow ourselves to experience happiness and joy.  It is ok to be happy.  It is ok to laugh.  Embrace it, do not fight it. ...

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We all have a Bad Day

Jessica | August 29, 2016

I spoke with another survivor awhile back.  He mentioned to me that today was "a bad day."  He continued to discuss how his week had been "full of ups and downs," leaving him feeling depleted.  Isn't it strange how we examine every single day after losing a loved one to suicide?  It's as if we never had a bad day before our tragic loss.  Life in general is full of ups and downs.  We reach exhaustion after a long week.  Something at work happens ...

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