Offering hope, comfort and support for survivors of suicide loss.
I like to think about grief in phases, instead of stages. To me, the first stage is when we are focused on the suicide itself. How did this happen? Why did this happen? Each day you awake to the reality of the situation; your loved one is gone, and they are not going to come back. It is a difficult time as you search for answers, search for meaning, and search for the ability to acknowledge the reality of the situation. Then comes phase ...
In the aftermath of my father's death I heard time and time again, "You are so strong." I didn't have the energy or ability to even think about these comments at the time. I was in a daze, still trying to figure out what just happened in my world. As the months passed, and the comments continued I remember thinking, "If you only knew." I felt like a fraud. Nobody saw the person I was when nobody was around, or could hear the voice in my ...
As a grief therapist and survivor of a suicide loss I often struggle with the word acceptance. I have yet to meet another survivor who doesn't ask me about acceptance. Suicide leaves you in a state of disbelief. How did this happen? And most importantly, "How did this happen to ME?" When I am asked about acceptance, I often turn the question around, asking the person what acceptance means to them. In my opinion, acceptance means something ...
After losing a loved one to suicide, we are left living in an unfamiliar place. We have changed, and the world around us has changed. In an attempt to gain some sense of normalcy, we search for answers. Not only answers related to the death of our loved one, but answers on when the pain will end. We desperately look for a "how to" book on grief. While there are a number of books to support the grief journey, there isn't one that provide you ...
Why does it take a tragedy to make us aware of what really matters in life? One struggle I have found many survivors face after a suicide is caring about other people's small stuff. Survivors will tell me that they feel anger and resentment towards others who complain about situations that seem so miniscule. We no longer look at the world through the same lens, yet the people around us do. This is extremely difficult as we work to reunite ...
