Offering hope, comfort and support for survivors of suicide loss.
In Monday's post, I talked about the importance of continuing your relationship with the person you lost to suicide. In the mental health field, this is referred to as continuing bonds. Essentially the idea of continuing bonds challenges the notion that we need to "let go" of the person we lost. As a grief therapist and survivor, I know this notion is simply not realistic. Take me for an example. I lost my dad, a man I knew from the day I ...
We often believe that our relationship with our loved one ends the day they take their life. It doesn't end, it changes. This perception often complicates an already complicated grief process. We think that moving forward means getting over the person and the relationship that we lost to suicide that day. When we can't let go, we think we are stuck. Changing our perception can offer tremendous relief. It isn't about letting go; it's about ...
As a survivor of a tragic loss, you will never forget the moment that you found out (or for some of us found) that your loved one had left this Earth. It is burned into our memory, leaving a scar on our heart. What we rarely discuss is the pain associated with the what would have or should have been. Whether we are conscious of it or not, we had already created future memories with the person we lost. We never thought that they would not be ...
Powerless and helpless; two feelings that I don't think anyone enjoys experiencing. Anyone who has experienced a loss by suicide can agree that these two feelings contribute to the utter devastation you feel in the aftermath. Suicide does not just shake the ground a bit; it completely shatters the foundation. We are left feeling completely powerless and helpless.
In our state of powerlessness and helplessness we often find ourselves deep in ...
Not only acknowledging, but accepting that our life will never be the same as it was before our loved one took their life is not an easy part of the grief journey. We try desperately to hold on to the life we had before. The problem with this, is that it keeps us in the past. Trying to go back is like an adult attempting to live like they did during their adolescence. It just isn't possible. Too much has happened. Life has changed; we have ...
