The article, "How to help: 4 things to say to bereaved parents... and one thing NEVER to say, first appeared on The Today Show in early July. As soon as they began talking about bereavement, my eyes and ears were glued to the television. As they read through the list of things "not to say" to bereaved parents, I felt as if they were validating everything I felt in the months following my dad's suicide. There is something about a loss by ...
What I’ve Learned Years After My Dad’s Suicide
August marks four years since my dad took his life. Some days, it feels as fresh and raw as when I first learned of his death. On others, it seems like a lifetime ago. I still shake my head in disbelief when I think about my dad – my dad – making the decision to die this way. I remember sitting in my first few LOSS meetings listening to moderators who were five or ten years out from their loved one’s passing thinking, “you have no idea how I feel ...
The Grief Journey after a Traumatic Loss
"When will I stop feeling so guilty?" "When will the pain end?" Two questions that have been asked by many after a traumatic loss. Our culture is not comfortable with the unknown. We need answers; we need to know why. This yearning to understand, further complicates an already complicated grieving process as we search for the reasons why our loved ones lives ended that day. Searching for the "why" is like searching for the "end" to ...
The Weight of Guilt after a Loss by Suicide
One question that I have been asked by many survivors is, "When will the guilt end?" I see the desperation in their eyes, and remember the overwhelming weight that I carried on my own shoulders following the loss of my father. We question what we could have done differently to prevent the tragic outcome that has become our reality. I have spent a great deal of time thinking about the element of guilt. I have written many posts on the topic, ...
The Weight of Judgement
This is definitely a different kind of quote than our usual Monday motivation message. I chose it, because it is a good reminder for us all. It is so easy to judge. As a survivor I have felt the weight of judgement. Whether it was how I grieved, or how my father's life ended, judgement was felt. At the end of the day, we never know what journey another person is on. Maybe it is easier than ours, maybe it isn't. We don't know. For our ...
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