Last month I wrote a post on secondary loss, and how we can cope with the additional loss we face in the aftermath of a suicide. One of the tips I had, was managing our expectations for the relationships we have with others. While I have witnessed and been told stories about people turning their backs on the people who need them most, I have also witnessed people doing extraordinary things. We tend to put a great deal of pressure on the people ...
The Weight of Guilt after a Loss by Suicide
One question that I have been asked by many survivors is, "When will the guilt end?" I see the desperation in their eyes, and remember the overwhelming weight that I carried on my own shoulders following the loss of my father. We question what we could have done differently to prevent the tragic outcome that has become our reality. I have spent a great deal of time thinking about the element of guilt. I have written many posts on the topic, ...
Letting Go of the Anger after Suicide
Letting go of the anger after suicide can be extremely difficult. Our anger can be directed at ourselves, asking, "How could I have prevented this" or at the person we lost questioning, "How could you have left me like this?" While it is important to feel anger, it can be toxic to hold on to it. Anger often lies on the surface, covering up emotions such as pain, hurt, and fear. If we don't let go of the anger, we can't heal the pain ...
Don’t Quit! You are Stronger than your Grief.
Following my father's suicide, there were many days where all I wanted to do was throw in the towel. My grief appeared to be stronger than I was. But I didn't. While I might have taken a day to just be, I never quit. I always got up, and tried again the next day. This week don't throw in the towel. You can set it down, but don't throw it in. Remember...you are stronger than your grief! ...
Loss after Losing my Dad to Suicide
It is amazing to me how much grief changes you. After losing my dad to suicide, I never really thought about how future deaths would impact me. My father's suicide instilled this unequivocal fear that others would die tragically. How could I not have that fear? It happened once before, maybe it will happen again. Much time and energy has been directed to this fear yet little has been directed to how I would cope if tragedy struck again. So ...