Silence is golden. Have you heard this popular quote? While this quote is fairly popular, silence is something that our society is often not comfortable with. We assume that silence is a bad thing, often interrupting these quiet moments with conversation. I know all too well the feeling of isolation that follow a death by suicide. Friends and family stop calling as they report not knowing what to say. So instead, they just say nothing. I ...
What if I…Changing the way we think about Suicide
A struggle we all experience in the aftermath of our loved ones' suicide is wondering if we could have done anything differently to change the outcome. What if I would have called my loved one that day? What if I would have stopped by? What if I would have helped them get the assistance they needed? What if, what if, what if?! We have all been there. Some still are, as they try and figure out where it all went wrong. Here is the problem ...
The Weight of Guilt after a Loss by Suicide
One question that I have been asked by many survivors is, "When will the guilt end?" I see the desperation in their eyes, and remember the overwhelming weight that I carried on my own shoulders following the loss of my father. We question what we could have done differently to prevent the tragic outcome that has become our reality. I have spent a great deal of time thinking about the element of guilt. I have written many posts on the topic, ...
Another Perspective on Death by Suicide
One of the main reasons this blog was created was to offer a different perspective on grief. Prior to my dad's death by suicide, I had only experienced death by natural cause. While any loss is painful, the loss of my father introduced me to a deeper pain than I had ever known. In the months following my dad's death I remember feeling so alone. How could anyone TRULY understand the intense emotions I was experiencing within. It simply isn't ...
Letting Go of the Anger after Suicide
Letting go of the anger after suicide can be extremely difficult. Our anger can be directed at ourselves, asking, "How could I have prevented this" or at the person we lost questioning, "How could you have left me like this?" While it is important to feel anger, it can be toxic to hold on to it. Anger often lies on the surface, covering up emotions such as pain, hurt, and fear. If we don't let go of the anger, we can't heal the pain ...