Five years ago (and for the entirety of my life before that point), I never would have thought that a loved one would die by suicide. I just didn’t think it would be in the realm of possibility, let alone for the head of our family. Since then, I have lived in a constant fear of losing someone suddenly again that way. Losing a loved one to suicide has left me with an unfortunate and somewhat debilitating paranoia I have to work very hard to ...
Why Am I SO Angry!
There are a number of emotions that consume us after losing a loved one to suicide. We talk about pain, sadness, and guilt, but anger often gets swept to the side. It took me a long time to feel angry. I spent a great deal of time feeling overwhelming sadness knowing that my dad's pain was so great that suicide felt like his only option. How can you be angry with someone in that kind of pain? So when the anger hit me, I was left asking, "Why ...
Change after Suicide
“Life is a series of natural and spontaneous changes. Don't resist them; that only creates sorrow. Let reality be reality. Let things flow naturally forward in whatever way they like.” ― Lao TzuChange is inevitable in this life. Change after suicide is impossible to avoid. Whether we want it or not, change will occur and our lives will never be as they once were. For me, my life was forever changed on December 27th, 2011, when my father decided ...
Fear after Suicide Loss
A new fear is created when you lose a loved one to suicide. The fear that you will lose someone else in the same manner. My grandmother died of cancer, yet I don't fear that someone else will meet the same fate. With suicide, the same is not true. Suicide creates a new type of anxiety, one that wasn't present prior. As a survivor four years out, I can say that it does get easier, yet it never goes away. This week, we welcome Andrea who ...
Talking to a Child about Suicide
A few weeks back, my sister and her husband had to have a conversation with their daughter that no parent wants to have. The day had come; it was time to tell their oldest daughter how Grandpa really died. With the advent of social media, it has become increasingly difficult to keep information away from our children. While we dread having to tell our children something that might bring them pain, it is better for them to hear it from us, than ...