The holiday season can be especially difficult for those who have lost a loved one to suicide, as we face a number of emotions including sadness, guilt, anger and shame. I have found that many survivors think about their loved ones more frequently during this time as we are reminded that they are no longer with us. Survivors often feel conflicted not knowing if it is ok to feel happy during this time of year. I have written a few posts about ...
Feeling Normal Again after a Suicide
The title of this post is a bit misleading. Any survivor will explain that feeling normal again after a suicide is something that never happens. We often talk about our “new normal” – the way we adapt to live on after being rocked by such a traumatic experience. Emotions, traditions and even the way we move about our day changes. However, the old adage “time heals” does ring true for us, too. By no means am I suggesting that I am “over” my ...
How Family Members Grieve Differently
Three years prior to my Dad’s suicide, my Mom died suddenly in a car accident. I remember not being able to cry at the wake or funeral, and how so many people kept telling me “it’s okay Lindsay”, as if they thought I was trying not to cry. It’s not that I wasn’t upset, I was insanely upset-- My Mom died suddenly six months before my wedding. For some reason, I was so in shock I couldn’t cry. I cried on my own when trying to fall asleep (when I ...
The Stages of Grief
Denial, anger, bargaining, depression and acceptance make up the five stages of grief. As a counselor, I am more than familiar with these stages, as I have discussed them with individuals who have lost a loved one. As I read through each stage today, I can't help but ask myself whether these stages apply to an individual who has lost a loved one to suicide. I am not arguing that as survivors we do not grieve like others. What I have began to ...