We are all searching for the roadmap for grief. Something to guide us, give us predictability, and most importantly, tell us when the pain will end. Let me let you in on a little secret....this roadmap doesn't exist. It simply would be impossible to create. Nobody's grief journey is the same, because no two relationships are the same, and no two pasts are the same. Two children can grow up in the same house, and view every experience ...
Hindsight is 20/20
How often have you said to yourself, "I should have known?" Or, "I should have been able to prevent this?" There is a reason they say, "Hindsight is 20/20." Everything is perfectly clear AFTER the event. Every behavior, every action, every word all hold new meaning. It can be difficult not to blame yourself for your loved ones' suicide if you are looking through the hindsight lens.
It is unclear why letting yourself off the hook is so ...
Wrestling With Hope after Suicide Loss
I’ve been thinking a lot about hope recently and wrestling with the thought that it’s no longer as prevalent in my life as it used to be. I feel like I have been grasping for things to feel hopeful about but falling flat. I couldn’t quite put my finger on it but challenged myself with internal reflection and conversations with my grief therapist to determine where this was all coming from, more than five years after my dad’s death.
I want to ...
Coping When a Loved One is Battling Mental Illness
In some cases, death by suicide is preceded by a battle with anxiety, depression, bipolar disorder, addiction or other forms of mental illness. These conditions do not always lead to suicide and not everyone who dies by suicide has one (or more) of them. But, many readers and I have experience living with a loved one who has – and we don’t often talk about how that can affect us. There’s also no clear direction on how we’re supposed to handle ...
Emotional Hurdles Post Suicide
If there’s one thing this holiday season confirmed for me, it’s that Christmastime is forever changed in my book after having lost my dad to suicide. We all know the loss of a loved one impacts our emotions and even longstanding traditions. But, in addition to simply missing my dad this time of year, I’ve come to learn his death has a lingering and significant halo effect on my view of Christmas and New Year’s Eve.
For the past few years, I’ve ...
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