“Life is a series of natural and spontaneous changes. Don't resist them; that only creates sorrow. Let reality be reality. Let things flow naturally forward in whatever way they like.” ― Lao TzuChange is inevitable in this life. Change after suicide is impossible to avoid. Whether we want it or not, change will occur and our lives will never be as they once were. For me, my life was forever changed on December 27th, 2011, when my father decided ...
How Much Choice is there in Suicide?
Since my dad died by suicide four years ago, I’ve continued to debate how much of a “choice” he really had at the time. On the surface, it seems simple. He chose to take his life and stop struggling with depression and anxiety. He chose not to stay and spend more time with his family and work. He chose the time, place and method to end his life. However, the more I learn about suicide and the crippling effects of mental illness on a person, the ...
Did I really know my Dad? Life after Suicide
Life after suicide leaves you feeling unsettled as you question whether you knew the person you lost. The person that died that day looks nothing like the person you knew. How could I have not known? You often know the person you lost for the duration of either their life or your own. In that amount of time, you just assume you know exactly who that person is. But the truth is, we often don't truly know the person at all. Why is that?
A ...
What if I…Changing the way we think about Suicide
A struggle we all experience in the aftermath of our loved ones' suicide is wondering if we could have done anything differently to change the outcome. What if I would have called my loved one that day? What if I would have stopped by? What if I would have helped them get the assistance they needed? What if, what if, what if?! We have all been there. Some still are, as they try and figure out where it all went wrong. Here is the problem ...
How Can the ‘Life of the Party’ Die by Suicide?
“The life of the party…” It’s a phrase I’ve heard many survivors use when describing a loved one lost to suicide. I frequently say the same thing about my dad; he could take over a room with his jokes, he had a contagious belly laugh and he was known for his quick wit. In addition to breathing life into a party, he often planned them. We celebrated big things, little things and everything in between - from half birthdays to good grades. For my ...