As a survivor, I have become accustomed to what is often referred to as "The New Normal." Life after suicide is different than it was before. While we have been introduced to a new level of pain, we also have been introduced to a new type of living. Since losing my father to suicide, I can say that I have become a much more confident person. I appreciate the little things more than I ever have. I strive to find happiness in the here and now. ...
Measuring Strength after a Suicide Loss
What exactly constitutes strength after a suicide loss? There is little I remember in the first weeks/months after losing my dad to suicide. While it all seems like a blur, I do remember the comments I received about my strength. "You are so strong" people would tell me. Still to this day I have people comment on my strength. My response, "What other choice do I have?" The pain of losing a loved one to suicide is overwhelming. It ...
A Walk Down Memory Lane-Seeing Past the Suicide
As a survivor, I think it can be hard to not allow your loved ones' final act to trump the life that they lived. For it is that last act that caused us the pain that we feel in the present. Combine that with the stigma and shame of suicide and suddenly the memories that occurred before their death become a distant memory. I love talking about my dad. It reminds me of the time we had prior to his death. It reminds me of who I am, and where I ...
Letting Myself Cry after Dad’s Suicide
Mourning the loss of a loved one to suicide is hard. Not just because it is unexpected, but because there is no manual telling us what is right and wrong. If we cry too often we feel we are stuck. If we don't cry enough, we feel like we are in denial. The thing about grief is that there is no manual; no right or wrong way. We all need to do what we need to do to get through the day. I often tell the people I work with that not thinking ...
Grieving the Tragic Loss of What Should Have Been
As a survivor of a tragic loss, you will never forget the moment that you found out (or for some of us found) that your loved one had left this Earth. It is burned into our memory, leaving a scar on our heart. What we rarely discuss is the pain associated with the what would have or should have been. Whether we are conscious of it or not, we had already created future memories with the person we lost. We never thought that they would not be ...
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