Twice in two days, the brutal reality of my dad’s suicide presented itself when I had to share about my family’s health history with doctors. It reminded me that even years after a loved one dies, their method of death haunts those left behind.
When visiting with a new general practitioner, she asked about my mom’s age and the state of her health. I immediately began to dread the question that would follow, “And, how about your father?” I ...
Dealing with Anxiety after a Suicide
Since losing my dad to suicide, the winter holidays seem to exacerbate my feelings of anxiety. His absence and the dramatic way his death impacted our family traditions becomes painfully clear this time of year. Coupled with this are coincidentally-timed stressful events that only fan the flames of my worries. (For instance, in December 2014, I panicked about returning to work post maternity-leave and felt a bit of déjà vu again this year.) At ...
Did I really know my Dad? Life after Suicide
Life after suicide leaves you feeling unsettled as you question whether you knew the person you lost. The person that died that day looks nothing like the person you knew. How could I have not known? You often know the person you lost for the duration of either their life or your own. In that amount of time, you just assume you know exactly who that person is. But the truth is, we often don't truly know the person at all. Why is that?
A ...
Experiencing Loneliness after Dad’s Death by Suicide
This week we welcome guest writer, Sarah Finch. We thank Sarah for sharing her feelings of loneliness following her dad's death by suicide.
LONELINESS
The days following my dad's death by suicide were the loneliest of my life. In a roomful of people, in the midst of a hug, in the middle of a conversation, the resounding thought I had was that I was alone. No one had the relationship I did with my dad, no one knew all the struggles he had ...
Accepting that Life Goes on After Death
No matter how much time has passed, I still can’t seem to get over the fact that life continues to progress without my Dad here to be a part of it. It seems like the past few months have brought constant reminders that he’s gone and won’t be able to experience all of the exciting things that are happening for me right now. In May, my husband and I sold our condo in the city and bought our first house in the Chicago suburbs. It was a big step, but ...