I'm not big on resolutions, because let's be honest who actually remembers what theirs was last year? I've learned that if you want to actually make big changes, you have to set specific and attainable goals for yourself. I've heard people say, "My goal is to just be happy." Well that is great but how in the heck are you going to measure that? And is your definition of happiness even attainable? I am not sure I could provide you with a definition ...
Guilt Won’t Change the Past
Guilt is a topic covered on our blog quite often. It is one of the most difficult pieces to work through on your grief journey. Releasing yourself from the weight of guilt takes time. For me, it was the most difficult part to release. Letting go of the guilt felt like I was letting go of my father. After allowing it to weigh me down for far to long, I had to ask myself, "What is this doing for me?" Nothing. At least, nothing positive. ...
Coping When a Loved One is Battling Mental Illness
In some cases, death by suicide is preceded by a battle with anxiety, depression, bipolar disorder, addiction or other forms of mental illness. These conditions do not always lead to suicide and not everyone who dies by suicide has one (or more) of them. But, many readers and I have experience living with a loved one who has – and we don’t often talk about how that can affect us. There’s also no clear direction on how we’re supposed to handle ...
Dealing with Guilt after Suicide
Dealing with guilt after suicide is a topic I often write about on our blog. It is described as the "crippling" emotion; an emotion that leaves a person feeling a sense of remorse. On my own grief journey, I found guilt to be the most difficult emotion to work through. Hence why I write about this topic so frequently. I have not only questioned my own role in my dad's suicide, but also how much control I actually had in preventing this tragic ...
Why people ask, “Did you see the signs?”
In the four plus years since losing my dad to suicide, I have had a number of people ask me, "Did you see the signs?" For a long time I struggled with my response. The angry person in me wanted to say, "If I did do you think we would be having this conversation?" The guilty person in me wanted to say, "Yes, I did. I should have been able to stop him." The bitter person in me wanted to say, "In what world is that question appropriate?" As a ...