Guest blogger Kimberly lost her son Tom to suicide in March 2015 and, like many survivors, struggles to understand how she "missed" the signs. Through his passing, she has also come to understand and appreciate how similar they truly are.
Parallel Lives
One of the things I have most struggled with in understanding Tom’s suicide is my inability to recognize the symptoms of his mental illness. I am now much more educated about depression and ...
Loss of Self after a Suicide
Suicide isn't just about the loss of life. It's about the loss of self that we as survivors experience after our loved one takes their life. New and powerful internal messages begin as we ask, "Why was I not good enough to live for?" This week we welcome Brandy, who discusses the shame and guilt she experienced after the loss of her mother to suicide.
On July 12, 1991, as a ten-year-old little girl, I walked into my home to find my mom’s ...
Combing through the Past after a Suicide
Through my own grief journey I have come to find that regret lives in the past, hope lives in the future. I think this was a notion that I believed even before losing my dad to suicide. However, I think in the aftermath of a loss by suicide, we almost have to go back before we can move forward.
I believe that we can find answers when we go back. They might not be THE answer, but they are answers that help us make sense of something that ...
I Wasn’t Able to Prevent my Dad’s Suicide
After losing someone to suicide you can find yourself combing through every moment of the past, questioning whether you missed the signs. Every memory holds new meaning. What if I would have paid more attention that day? What if I would have questioned their thinking, or pointed out something that didn't seem right? Would they still be here today? Questions like this often contribute to the overwhelming presence of guilt we feel in the ...
Survivor’s Guilt after a Suicide
Powerless and helpless; two feelings that I don't think anyone enjoys experiencing. Anyone who has experienced a loss by suicide can agree that these two feelings contribute to the utter devastation you feel in the aftermath. Suicide does not just shake the ground a bit; it completely shatters the foundation. We are left feeling completely powerless and helpless.
In our state of powerlessness and helplessness we often find ourselves deep in ...