Regardless of my father's suicide, I have always disliked the question, "How are you?" Do people really want to know the answer? I'm not sure people are even equipped to deal with anything other than, "I'm ok." What makes it more difficult is when you are struggling with a response. "How are you?" How difficult is it to find an answer when you yourself don't know. This is what happens in the aftermath of a suicide loss. It is difficult to ...
Guilt Won’t Change the Past
Guilt is a topic covered on our blog quite often. It is one of the most difficult pieces to work through on your grief journey. Releasing yourself from the weight of guilt takes time. For me, it was the most difficult part to release. Letting go of the guilt felt like I was letting go of my father. After allowing it to weigh me down for far to long, I had to ask myself, "What is this doing for me?" Nothing. At least, nothing positive. ...
Don’t Compare Your Inside to Someone’s Outside
Social media. Sure, it's great. You might be reading this post as a result of social media. It keeps us connected, reunites loved ones, and gives us a platform to voice our opinions. Yet, there is a big problem with it. We make judgements about ourselves and our lives based on the content that appears in our newsfeed. We compare our inside to someone else's outside. Why did we have to be the ones to lose someone? Why do they get to be so ...
Silence is Everything
There are a couple things that I tell people who ask me how to support someone who has recently lost a loved one to suicide. First, I tell them to be there when the rest of the world moves on. Second piece of advice: it's not about what you say, it's about being there. There is nothing you can say to take the pain away. In fact, the more you say the more frustrated the person can get because their pain is not being validated. Your words ...
Can Pain Lead to Joy?
When I received the call that my dad had taken his life, I was introduced to a new level of pain. Something that I never thought would happen, happened. Suicide. I have heard of others losing a loved one to suicide, but this was not something that I ever thought I would be faced with. Over time, I have found gratitude in my loss. While I experienced a new level of pain, I have also experienced a new level of joy. I am not sure I would have ...
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